kidding myself

i hope i complete this atleast. starting with a darker shade i hope i am not dark. Just two sentenses down and i'm feeling good about it. blogging is good. now feeling good for me is very very very important. see, all my life i've been driven by MUSEs, i realised only recently and i'm about 26.i was always confused about what i wanted and i looked and looked, well i did.
Just came back from a break and now at this moment i'm not sure what i want to write, I know its my inhibition which will control, me knowingly, to write for my readers. hahaha if any. see, that wasn't me or for myself. And Again.
I've always wanted to write but never tried, i've always wanted to learn to play the guitar-didn't do, I feel sad at this point while thinkin about what i didn't do and mixing it up with what else i want to write.
with all due respect to the writers and the art of writing, i'd love to continue typing Myself.
when you're reading this you may see of my obsession with myself or also figure out by now of my confused self.
i wish i was never this confused. sad.
i don't read what others write, so is it okay to feel my writing be read.
I feel very sad now and don't want to write now.

a friend said to me today, i must write. blame her.